Infertility sucks! There is no other way to describe it. I went through the emotional rollarcoaster for over 4 years and at that time I heard statics that 1 out of every 8 women deal with it in some way or form. Well it seems like about 1 out of 4 now, so many of my friends, in town, out of town, in every part of my life are dealing with it. When I went through it I seemed so alone, no one else was going though it to talk to about it or just vent to that understood. I joined a group called RESOLVE in Charlotte and they were a great group of ladies with much needed support. Now that I have my 2 wonderful children I am so blessed, I wish I could help support others and give them the hope they need.
One of my dear freinds blogged this the other day and I just had to reblog it, it's what I would have been posting 3 years ago as I was finising a miscarriage and getting prepared for round 2 of IVF. The feelings from infertitily do finally fade after healing time, but I can remember this all too well. Love to al my friends out there going through this. There is no other way to describe it other than, "It sucks!"
I believe going through this made me become a better mother and I feel that I cherish them a little more than I would have if I wouldn't have gone through it. I'm glad to look back on the years of it now, but I'm thankful for them, they made me a better mother and a better person (after the fact, NOT DURING!!!)
Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. Even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
~Author Unknown
We took Chris and Larry to New Orleans this past weekend, we got to experience many things and see a lot of the city. We went to Marti Gras World and learned all about the 54 parades they have over 10 days of parting. I never knew anything about it, other than it's a big party. It's actually pretty organized and a part of their history. News isn't allowed to cover it so we don't see much about it.
There are society's that put on each parade, they have signature floats each year and usually have a different theme each year. They pay Marti Gras World staff and artists to make their designs come to life. They are working on them a full year before the parade. The props are stored in "dens" throughout the city during the year and we toured one. They reuse props many times and can even rent them sometimes. It was quite amazing.
We had a private tour, not on purpose, just luck, usually 100 or more people. Part of the tradition they have in New Orleans is they have a cake at every party they have and there is a baby Jesus baked into it. They serve it and whoever finds the Jesus throws the next party and bakes the next cake. Out of 100+ pieces, Kevin got the baby Jesus! Guess we'll be throwing a party sometime soon.
We also walked along the bank, N.O. is much like Charleston believe it or not. Historic, the house style, the bank along the Mississippi, the market, etc. They just have a little more Party in them in N.O. We did stop on Bourbon St. one evening and listened to REAL live Jazz! They played the The Saint's Go Marching In, was cool to hear that in N.O. on Bourbon St.! We had coffee and Bugays at a great little famous place at the market. 
We also rode the ferry on the Mississippi River over to a neighborhood affect by Katrina. We never saw any damages from her though. The guide said that 80% of the city flooded, the ninth ward was only a small, small part of that though, it's just what hit national news the most. The guide took us and a group on a tour of many of the old homes in the Garden District. Beautiful, old, historic houses that are only like $900,000 to 1.2 million. Seems so inexpensive compared to Charleston and other places, they were huge! No restrictions are on what they have to keep and not keep though, that is a shame. In the middle of the houses is a nice restaurant called Commander's Palace that we went to that evening. We also went to one of Emeril's restaurants there, unfortunately he wasn't cooking that night. 
Sandra Bullock has a house here, left. It reminded me of a Gingerbread House. This last house is where Peyton and Eli Manning grew up, look, one of his parents, or a friend drive a Sequioa like I do!
